FAQ & Myths

"It can't happen to me."

Yes, it can. Sexual violence can happen to anyone-regardless of gender, race, age, socio-economic status, or religion. Victims of sexual assault include infants, people in their eighties, people of color, lesbians/gays, individuals with disabilities, women, and men.

"Sexual violence can sometimes be the victim's fault."

Sexual violence is NEVER the victim's fault. It doesn't matter if the victim was dressed seductively, drinking or using drugs, out at night alone, on a date with the perpetrator, etc. - no one asks to be raped. The responsibility and blame lie with the perpetrator, never with the victim.
The absence of injuries often suggests to others that the victim failed to resist and, therefore, must have consented. Often, rapists only need the threat of violence to control their victims. They also sometimes use "date rape" drugs to incapacitate their victims.
Some victims submit to the assault for fear of greater harm. Submitting does not mean the victim gave consent. Each rape victim does whatever she needs to do at the time in order to survive.

"If a child I know was being sexually abused, he/she would tell me right away."

Because they are confused by the abuse, feel responsible, or are being threatened by the abuser, children don't automatically tell a parent. In

"If the people are dating, it's not rape."

Rape is rape, no matter what the relationship is between the victim and perpetrator. Rape is not just committed by strangers in dark alleys. It is estimated that almost 70% of all rape and sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim.
Everyone has the right to change their mind - even about sex. One form of sexual contact does not necessarily open the door to other sexual activity. Even if the two have had sex before, the perpetrator does not have the right to force sex on the victim.
There are many ways a person can be forced into sexual activity. Sometimes perpetrators use physical force or a weapon, but more often they use coercion, manipulation, or psychological pressure.